Katelyn Kommer

Holy moly, the month of July was a time warp. When I think of what I did at the beginning of the month, it seems as if I’ve lived seven lives since then. On the other hand, each week was filled with so many fleeting moments that I wish lasted a year each. The last few summers, the majority of my time off work and weekends were filled with outdoor pursuits - usually to train for some large objective. However, this summer I prioritized something entirely different. A group of my friends and I spent most of the month road tripping to the last five shows of Dead and Company’s final tour. Though there was plenty of outdoor time interspersed between dancing at concerts, the whole experience led to some deep reflection on how I want to intentionally spend my time.

When I moved to Salt Lake City three years ago I dove head first into the outdoors scene. As someone who always loved running, hiking, backpacking, etc., it was a perfect fit instantly. Working at REI, I immediately met friends who taught me how to ski and spent all of my time off exploring the national forests around me. It felt as if I discovered a new trail or peak every single week, and within the first year I had run most of the trails within 30 minutes of the city. Simultaneously, I fell into a group of friends that absolutely love live music. I grew up in a musical family and always enjoyed going to shows, but never had prioritized it over outdoor pursuits. However, over the last few years I absolutely fell in love with bluegrass and jam-band style music, and have been going to multiple local concerts every month. On the outside, most of my friends compliment and admire the way I seem to be able to “balance” everything. However, I’ve grappled with how I want to spend my time. Every time I’m out late at a concert and sacrifice a morning run, I feel a pang of guilt. On the other hand, missing out on bands I really want to see simply because I’m training for something breeds insane FOMO. There’s world class outdoor access in Utah, but lesser known is the phenomenal music scene in Salt Lake City.

As I started to trail run and train for ultras a few years ago, I felt a sort of pressure to maximize my potential in the sport. Most of my friends I’ve met through trail running are crushing 100+ mile races and often placing on the podium. I know that if I truly dedicated all my time and tailored my life towards trail running fitness, I could be pretty fast. But, I love going to concerts and breweries with my friends. Even though I thoroughly enjoy my nights out, there’s this underlying feeling of guilt that I’m not prioritizing running over everything. I really struggled with this feeling for a couple years, but the way I chose to spend this summer solidified for me the simple enjoyment of outdoor hobbies. Originally, I wanted to do a 100 mile race this September. However, when Dead and Company announced that summer 2023 would be their final tour, I bought tickets to the five last shows. I realized this meant two straight weeks on the road, where running would not be a priority. I reflected for a while on my decision, and realized that 100 mile races would always be there. The opportunity to make these kinds of memories with my closest friends was pretty much once in a lifetime.

When we were on tour, my best friend Alex and I had multiple long conversations about priorities. We met a ton of wonderful people along the way, and some who dedicated absolutely all of their free time and money to concerts and touring. While I understand the draw, it seems like a very parallel dilemma to the one I face sometimes with the outdoors community. It’s extremely tempting to take a whole summer off to tour with your favorite band, similarly to how tempting it is to make ultra running my entire personality and spend all my free time training. However, as someone with multiple hobbies, I’ve learned how beautiful it is to be nuanced.

I believe that most people are truly just searching for community. Whether you find it outdoors, at jam band concerts, or at work, when you find a group of people with similar interests it’s very tempting to fully immerse yourself into that world. It’s much more difficult to reflect deeply on where you spend your time and money. And for some people, like professional athletes, it’s necessary to throw yourself fully into just one thing. However, as someone who legitimately enjoys a ton of different things and has the tendency to fully immerse myself into whatever I’m doing, it can be very difficult to take a step back and really reflect on where I’m spending my time. The most helpful thing for me has been having a group of best friends who are all also nuanced, and can spend their weekends backpacking, biking, going to shows, skiing, or simply spending time in the city. I’m not saying that I have it all figured out perfectly, but I have made significant progress. My goal isn’t to appear to have any sort of “perfect” balance, or impress anyone with the amount of hobbies I’m able to maintain. My goal is to reflect on each month and be proud of the choices I’ve made, and be able to say that I’ve spent my time intentionally as I’ve wanted to.