As the Seasons Change, A Downward Spiral in Motivation

Maggie Slepian

I live in Montana. It’s really cold here for more than half of the year. To add to the fun, right as it’s getting cold, the bulk of our daylight hours rudely vanish. I realize I’m not writing any groundbreaking news here. We all know that if you choose to live in Sub-Canada, you’re going to get cold, dark winters. However, I’m still going to take the liberty of acting shocked and personally affronted every year.

Despite the normal drudgery of the Bad Season, this shoulder season has been different. And by different, I mean worse. For the past five years, I’ve had a good routine heading into winter. My hiking, biking, and climbing excursions would diminish, but I would seamlessly increase my indoor climbing and yoga sessions to replace my outside activities, resulting in a similar level of output. As a remote worker, this helped me keep my social life, and it also meant my fitness was at a good level throughout the year. The combination of all of this is like a positive-feedback circle: I would feel good about myself and enjoy my social life, so I would be more motivated to continue driving to the climbing gym or getting up for an early yoga class. 

There was a domino effect leading to the break in my routine this year. It started with me canceling my climbing gym membership to train for the PCT. The PCT dream ended with covid. From covid, the yoga studios shut down. Covid restrictions are ramping up, hence still no climbing gym membership. Round and round and round we go.

I did have a packed summer, full of local hiking and biking. But as the seasons turned and we hit that point where the trails were too icy but there wasn’t enough snow to ski, I didn’t have my normal gym / yoga routine to fall back on. Without those activities and the accompanying socialization, I fell into a depressing, schlubby routine. The less I did, the less I wanted to do. 

Jeff would drag me out of the house every other day to stomp around my neighborhood on a one-mile walk, something I never imagined myself doing before I was eligible for social security. Besides that, I would sit on the same couch cushion for an entire daylight cycle, watching the sun rise, hang out in the sky for not very long, then set, feeling panicky and awful about myself, but not doing anything about it. 

When my crappy habits get to a certain point, I need a solid break to reset them. This year, that break came in the form of 300 miles of backpacking. Leaving my butt imprint behind on the couch, I hiked 75 miles on the Oregon Coast Trail with two friends. From there, Jeff and I thru-hiked the 223-mile Ouachita Trail.

Those hikes were off the literal couch, and they were rough. I had fallen into worse shape than I’d been in for years. My lack of activity had made me droopy and tired. I missed my climbing friends and the yoga studio, and it made me less apt to get up and get active. The major reset of backpacking snapped me out of it, and I returned home determined to start making new habits before I could fall back into my routine. I wasn’t going to be hiking 20 miles a day back in Montana, but I could commit to a two-mile run and some stretching. My goal is for that light exercise to become a habit, and naturally lead to longer runs and at-home yoga.

For me, just the act of getting up and out of the house once a day has to become a habit. Even if it’s not the big miles or the pride in climbing I used to have, it’s better than nothing. While options are limited this year for backpacking and big adventures, I can’t recommend a hard reset enough, for anyone who feels like they’re stuck in a major rut. I was fortunate enough to be able to sneak in some backpacking, but even a local camping trip and unplugging for a few days can do wonders. When you return, you’ll have a hard break and an excuse to start setting new habits for yourself, and set yourself up better as the winter hits with full force. Pray for snow.