Country Mouse Visits LA and Spends her Mortgage Money on Rideshares
Maggie Slepian
I was recently invited to a screening of a movie I worked on last year. I was a wrangler and stunt double on that particular movie, and they were showing it at Paramount before its release. I RSVP’ed yes and booked my flight to LA before I could change my mind.
I just got home from the trip, and I had a great time. The weather was sunny and 75, I met up with a friend I hadn’t really seen in a year, and I did as much as possible while I was there. I saw Santa Monica, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, La Brea, a trail to 360-degree views of the city, and explored neighborhoods on foot with some of the coolest architecture I’ve seen in the US.
The movie screening was an incredible experience. I reunited with dozens of cast and crew members, and meeting the writer of the movie in real life after a year of internet friendship was unforgettable.
But! It was in a city, and I am not good at cities. I anticipated feeling inept, but I was actually worse than I thought. I know how to prepare when I travel to rural areas or if my destination is an outdoor adventure, but I was woefully unprepared for being in a city mostly on my own. There were so many things that didn’t occur to me to pack, need, or think about.
I’m really glad I went and I’d love to go back, but for the sake of a one-subject article, I’ve compiled a listicle-type report on the main errors I made. If you’re a country bumpkin planning a Visit to the Big City, maybe it’ll help.
1) If you ask a taxi driver to drive you one mile, he might kick you out of his cab
I arrived at LAX and found my way to ground transportation, where I saw a sign for a shuttle to the Uber / taxi lot. I planned to wait at a coffee shop and get some work for a few hours—my coworker was renting a car and said he’d drive me to my motel when he landed. But when I got into the taxi and told him I just wanted to go a mile up the road, he stopped at the curb and said he’d been waiting an hour for a passenger and didn’t want to waste the ride on me. Fair enough! So he dropped me at the curb near an overpass and I dragged my rolling suitcase under the 405 overpass and along W Century Boulevard for a half-mile until I found a Starbucks in a strip mall.
2) Don’t expect outlets in every coffee shop…
Where I live, every coffee shop has outlets. It didn’t occur to me that I would walk into a coffee shop where every outlet was plated over. I hadn’t prepared for this, so I hadn’t charged my phone fully on the flight. When I went to plug my phone into my computer, I didn’t have the USB-C charger I needed. I could picture the correct charger into the wall next to my bed, which was a fun visual. I could also picture the shoebox of external battery packs I’ve been sent to test sitting on a shelf in my gear closet. That was also a fun visual. I sat directly under the Table Time 45 Minutes sign and drank a neon pink beverage for my allotted 45 minutes while I answered a few emails.
3) ….Or on the outside of strip mall buildings
You know I walked around the entire perimeter of the strip mall searching for the thru-hiker’s best friend: an outlet on the outside of a building. Please note I was still dragging my rolling suitcase, and there were no outlets. My phone was almost dead at this point (5G was draining it faster than when I’m at home), and with no charger, no outlet, and no ride, I had to call an Uber before it died.
4) It’s better to stay where you want (and get a ride to the event) than stay close to the event
I paid an exorbitant amount of money for a motel close to Paramount. In hindsight, the other neighborhoods I visited in LA were so much nicer and I should have stayed somewhere that I’d rather hang out in as opposed to staying somewhere based on proximity to one event in the four days I was there. I ended up taking a lot of Ubers to other areas that were lovely to visit… and then had to Uber back to the motel I had zero desire to be at. I also arrived early and they did not let me check in early or hold my suitcase. So I dragged my rolling suitcase around nearby neighborhoods trying to kill the 90 minutes before I could check in at 3 and did a photoshoot on different parts of the sidewalk.
5) Accept that rideshares will cost more than the plane ticket
By the time I took an Uber to Santa Monica (I was determined to See A Lot of Things No Matter the Cost) my Ubers officially cost more than my round-trip flight. I made the choice to see a bunch of stuff and explore other parts of the city, but I know that if I had done any research, I would have stayed somewhere better than between a cluster of Hollywood strip malls. If I’d been in a better place, I wouldn’t have felt the need to get $30 rides twice a day to other locations.
5.1) I know there’s a bus system, but understand what you’re working with here
I made a valiant attempt to understand the bus system, but kind of like me trying to do my own taxes, I didn’t get far before I had a breakdown and did the transport equivalent of hiring an accountant: pulling up the Uber app on my phone. In my defense, my city-savvy friend looked at the schedules and agreed they’d be confusing for someone who can’t handle navigating Billings, Montana.
6) Uber charges a ridiculous amount to schedule rides in advance
I was worried about getting to the airport on time, so I scheduled an Uber in advance. The airport ride was $56, which I thought was expensive. Then, when I got the email with the itemized receipt after the dropoff, I realized I’d been charged a $22 “scheduling fee” on a $26 ride. (there were other smaller fees as well). I should have just gotten up five minutes earlier and called the ride in the morning.
Conclusion! As I wrote this, I realized most of my LA heartburn came from Ubers and one taxi driver. The rest of the experience was truly amazing, and I’m sure I’ll write about it in more depth at some point. As for now, I’m going to drive my lil truck down my lil Montana two-lane roads and find a coffee shop to work from. With plenty of outlets.
