My Holiday Wish List: A Comprehensive Roundup
Maggie Slepian
Writing a (insert generic holiday) wish list as an adult is challenging. When I was a kid, I asked for Saddle Club books, collector-edition Beanie Babies, and the latest holiday edition model Breyer horse, with fragile resin legs I would immediately snap during galloping scenes across the living room. Those were the days when I received a paltry sum of $20 a week for walking the neighbor’s dog, and the occasional $10 bill for helping my dad stack cords of firewood.
As an adult with some semblance of income and the ability to see something that I want and probably be able to purchase it, the thrill of a holiday list has worn off. I depend on my mother to buy me cute accessories, and I always ask for a planner because I don’t feel like buying it for myself. But realistically, there are few things that I truly want that I don’t just buy for myself in a fit of 1am online shopping.
With that in mind, here is a list of things I’d ask for, were it to be realistic to have them dropped off at my doorstep.
1) Some Time Off
True, I could probably do this for myself, but that’s not the point. I want a month of free time magically deposited in the middle of my life. No jobs to feel pressure to take, no compulsive work ethic that makes me feel complete but also drains my life force. Like many people around me, I am feeling exhausted, burned out, and staring down a workload and schedule with no breaks or end in sight.
2) The People Around Me To Believe in Science
I feel like this is self explanatory, if absolutely mind-boggling. I continually find myself surrounded by people who adamantly deny everything from evidence of climate change to the efficacy of vaccines to the existence of Covid. This is partially a selfish wish—I feel like my brain is melting—but mostly for the benefit of humanity and society.
3) To Magically Live in Montana But Also Closer to my Family
Most big choices we make have pros and cons. I live in Montana and my family lives in New Hampshire, 2,000 miles away. I have been out west since 2010, I have a cool job, great friends, and own a house where I raise my cat. If I could have it both ways, I would transplant my entire life to a location within a day’s drive of my family, alleviating guilt and potential regret for not living closer to them while not losing the life I’ve independently built for myself.
4) More Sweaters for Heisenberg
Last year I was on a group chat with my siblings about our holiday wish list. My sister sent a note about her kid’s clothing sizes and asked for a few items. At the same time, I sent a message about my cat being a “canine extra-small, and a cat-sized medium for pet clothes.” This was both humiliating and also tracks with where both of our lives are. This year, my sister has a second child and I am still adding to my cat’s sweater collection. I’ve chosen to lean into this, and want everyone to know that he looks super good in argyle.
5) Motivation and Time to Work Out
This is an imaginary list, so I can put down anything I want. At this juncture in my life, I am working so much that my old habits and routines are down to almost nothing. Ideally I could keep my schedule and have the motivation to work out, or have a less terrible schedule and have time to work out. I know I can’t have it all, but again, this wish list isn’t real.
6) Everyone to Stop Publishing The Most Tenuous Reaches of Affiliate-Grab Garbage
I love scrolling social media. I have accepted that I am a phone-addicted trash millennial. But holy hell! The amount of affiliate-desperate “gift guide” roundups this year made my social media scrolling a true test of endurance. Sure, the “best gifts for winter sports” might be useful, or “best gifts for cat moms” is something I’d click on, but when it gets diluted enough to see a title hawking “the best last-minute made-in-Canada gifts for women who love to lounge,” I know I should probably just put down my phone and pick up a book.
7) World Peace
Probably unachievable at this point. Still have to put it down.
